| Col | Start point | Vertical gain (m) | All mental | Got the legs? | So Pretty |
| Croix de Fer | St Jean de Maurienne | 1576 | 7 | 6 | 7 |
| Croix de Fer | Allemont | 1557 | 6 | 5 | 7 |
| Mt Cenis | Landsbourg | 682 | 3 | 2 | 3 |
| Mt Cenis | Susa | 1553 | 6 | 4 | 5 |
| Alpe d'Huez | Bourg d'Oisans | 1130 | 7 | 7 | 2* |
| Col de Vars | Guillestre | 1109 | 4 | 4 | 6 |
| Col de Vars | Gleizolles | 799 | 6 | 6 | 5 |
* It does not matter how pretty the climb is. All I saw was pavement.
| All-mental ranking | |
| 1 | So when is it going uphill? |
| 2 | Even my driveway is more challenging than that! |
| 3 | Nice little leg opener. So where is now the real stuff? |
| 4 | Of course, I am ok! I just don’t want to talk right now! |
| 5 | Didn’t you say this climb had an end? |
| 6 | They must have missed the last three kilometer markers! |
| 7 | Who in the world would build that kind of road! |
| 8 | This is absolute non-sense! I am not quitting, I am just ending this nightmare! |
| Got-the-legs ranking | |
| 1 | Wasnt it an awesome idea from me to go climbing today? |
| 2 | Wow, I think I just undiscovered the hidden climbing talent in me! |
| 3 | I think I am going for the KOM today. |
| 4 | I think I am not going for the KOM today. |
| 5 | I dont think this is quite my gradient! |
| 6 | I told you I am not a climber! |
| 7 | Who on earth came up with this silly idea to go climbing today? |
| 8 | Never ever ask me to ride any climb again, and yes, the speed bump in front of your house counts too! |
| So-pretty ranking | |
| 1 | Even the parking lot crit is more interesting! |
| 2 | Slightly better view than from my trainer |
| 3 | Might make a nice screen saver |
| 4 | Gets at least 50 likes on Instagram |
| 5 | I would totally stop and take pictures if it wasn’t for my Strava KOM time! |
| 6 | Holy smokes, amazing view. I almost forgot I am climbing! |
| 7 | I am drooling. It is so pretty! |
Disclaimer: I am not taking any responsibility for taxi fares, property mortgages or KOM losses.
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