| Col | Start point | Vertical gain (m) | All mental | Got the legs? | So Pretty | 
| Croix de Fer | St Jean de Maurienne | 1576 | 7 | 6 | 7 | 
| Croix de Fer | Allemont | 1557 | 6 | 5 | 7 | 
| Mt Cenis | Landsbourg | 682 | 3 | 2 | 3 | 
| Mt Cenis | Susa | 1553 | 6 | 4 | 5 | 
| Alpe d'Huez | Bourg d'Oisans | 1130 | 7 | 7 | 2* | 
| Col de Vars | Guillestre | 1109 | 4 | 4 | 6 | 
| Col de Vars | Gleizolles | 799 | 6 | 6 | 5 | 
* It does not matter how pretty the climb is. All I saw was pavement.
| All-mental ranking | |
| 1 | So when is it going uphill? | 
| 2 | Even my driveway is more challenging than that! | 
| 3 | Nice little leg opener. So where is now the real stuff? | 
| 4 | Of course, I am ok! I just don’t want to talk right now! | 
| 5 | Didn’t you say this climb had an end? | 
| 6 | They must have missed the last three kilometer markers! | 
| 7 | Who in the world would build that kind of road! | 
| 8 | This is absolute non-sense! I am not quitting, I am just ending this nightmare! | 
| Got-the-legs ranking | |
| 1 | Wasnt it an awesome idea from me to go climbing today? | 
| 2 | Wow, I think I just undiscovered the hidden climbing talent in me! | 
| 3 | I think I am going for the KOM today. | 
| 4 | I think I am not going for the KOM today. | 
| 5 | I dont think this is quite my gradient! | 
| 6 | I told you I am not a climber! | 
| 7 | Who on earth came up with this silly idea to go climbing today? | 
| 8 | Never ever ask me to ride any climb again, and yes, the speed bump in front of your house counts too! | 
| So-pretty ranking | |
| 1 | Even the parking lot crit is more interesting! | 
| 2 | Slightly better view than from my trainer | 
| 3 | Might make a nice screen saver | 
| 4 | Gets at least 50 likes on Instagram | 
| 5 | I would totally stop and take pictures if it wasn’t for my Strava KOM time! | 
| 6 | Holy smokes, amazing view. I almost forgot I am climbing! | 
| 7 | I am drooling. It is so pretty! | 
Disclaimer: I am not taking any responsibility for taxi fares, property mortgages or KOM losses.
 
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